The most important thing when looking for a therapist is to follow your gut. It’s important to find someone you’re comfortable with, who is able to meet you where you are, and who respects the treatment goals you bring to therapy. This may sound like an easy task, but it’s sometimes hard to differentiate between a “healthy” discomfort and one that is a “red flag.”  It can be (and usually is) uncomfortable to ask for help. Change is hard; there are no two ways about it.

If you’re shopping for a therapist, you’re probably feeling stuck and need something to change so you can feel better or have better results in your life. I think it’s helpful to meet directly with a therapist to find out if you like them. If you find a therapist who challenges you in a supportive way that causes some discomfort because they're asking you to do something different or pointing out something that is painful, then you’re probably on the right track. If, however, you feel that you’re being judged, you can’t seem to find common ground, or you don’t feel like you’re being heard – these are things that might indicate that the therapist you’re seeing isn’t for you.

Most therapists understand that they cannot meet everyone’s needs or aren’t necessarily a good fit for everyone. We all have our own distinct styles, backgrounds, and ways we practice therapy.